Kata Maaf, Apakah Berarti Damai? Relasi Pasangan Suami-Istri di Pusaran Kekerasan dalam Rumah Tangga

Muhammad Zulfa Alfaruqy, Endang Sri Indrawati


Family is a communal group that has been identified by warmth and affection. Along with the times, unfortunately, many families are getting in phenomena of domestic violence. This study aimed to understand the causes and the dynamics of the marital relationship which get in the vortex of domestic violence. Data retrieval was using interviews, observation, and discussion among three wives whoever got domestic violence. The results of this study show that domestic violence occurs because there is unclear mind and psychological inconveniences may lead to a husband's jealousy until venting the aggressive one toward his wife. The superiority of the husband encourages him to hurt his wife who is more inferior so that the violence occurs. Many kinds of violence that may happen are physical violence, psychological violence, social violence, and household abandonment. A husband’s apology bought his relationship with his wife is getting better. But without peacebuilding, domestic violence is a cycle of repetitive behavior so the husband repeat it again and again The increase of violence’s intensity will be bought to relationship fading. The autonomy of children and the support of the wife’s big family will lead her to decide a divorce.


violence; family; peace building; relation

Full Text:



Alfaruqy, M.Z. (2018). Keluarga, sebuah perspektif psikologi. Dalam E.S. Indrawati & M.Z. Alfaruqy (Ed.), Pemberdayaan keluarga dalam perspektif psikologi (pp 1-18). Semarang: Penerbit Fakultas Psikologi Undip.

Asmarany, A.I. (2008). Bias gender sebagai predictor kekerasan dalam rumah tangga. Jurnal Psikologi, 35(1), 1-20.

Berns, R.M. (2004). Child, family, school, community: Socialization and support 6th. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning.

Brehm, S.S. (2007). Intimate relationship. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Clark, S., & Mills, J. R. (2012). A theory of communal (and exchange) relationships. Dalam P. A. M. V. Lange, A. W. Kruglanski, & E. T. Higgins (Eds.), Handbook of theories of social psychology volume 1 (pp. 418-438). London: Sage Publication.

Creswell, J. W. (2013). Research design: Pendekatan kualitatif, kuantitatif, dan mixed (A. Fawaid, Trans.). Yogyakarta: Pustaka Pelajar.

Christie, D.J., Tint, B.S, Vagner, R.V., & Winter, D.D. (2008). Peace psychology for peaceful world. Journal American Psychologist, 63(6), 540-552.

Devito, J. A. (2003). Human communication. New York, NY: Pearson.

Dewi, I.D.A.D.P & Hartini, N. (2017). Dinamika forgiveness pada istri yang mengalami kekerasan dalam rumah tangga. Insani Jurnal Psikologi dan Kesehatan Mental, 2(1), 51-62.

Fiske, A. P. (1992). The four elementary forms of sociality: Framework for a unified theory of social relations. Psychological Review, 99(4), 689-723.

Fiske, A. P. (2004). Relational models theory 2.0. Dalam N. Haslam (Ed.), Relational models theory: A contemporary overview (pp 3-25). New Jersey, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Galtung, J. (1996). Peace by peaceful means: Peace and conflict, development, and civilization. London: Sage Publication, Inc.

Goldenberg, H., & Goldenberg, I. (2008). Family therapy: An overview, 7th. Belmont, CA: Thomson Higher Education.

Ihromi, T.O. (1999). Bunga rampai sosiologi keluarga. Jakarta: Yayasan Obor Indonesia.

Indrawati, E.S. (2018). Deteksi dini pelaku kekerasan dalam rumah tangga. Dalam E.S. Indrawati & M.Z. Alfaruqy (Ed.), Pemberdayaan keluarga dalam perspektif psikologi (pp 64-76). Semarang: Penerbit Fakultas Psikologi Undip.

Kaloeti, D.V.S., Indrawati, E.S, & Alfaruqy, M.Z. Psikologi forensik. Yogyakarta: Psikosain.

Komnas. (2018). Tergerusnya ruang aman perempuan dalam pusaran politik populisme: Catatan kekerasan terhadap perempuan tahun 2017. Jakarta: Komnas Perempuan.

Komnas. (2019). Korban bersuara, data bicara sahkan RUU penghapusan kekerasan seksual sebagai wujud komitmen Negara: Catatan kekerasan terhadap perempuan tahun 2018. Jakarta: Komnas Perempuan.

Lickel, B., Hamilton, D. L., & Sherman, S. J. (2001). Elements of a lay theory of groups: Types of groups, relational styles, and the perception of group entitativity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5, 129–140.

Miller, R.S., Perlman, D.S., & Brehm, S. (2009). Intimate relationship 5th. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Olson, D.H., Defrain, J. & Skogrand, L. (2011). Marriages and families: Intimacy, diversity, and strengths 7th. New York, NY: McGraw Hill Education.

Rai, T. S., & Fiske, A. P. (2011). Moral psychology is relationship regulation: Moral motives for unity, hierarchy, equality, and proportionality. Psychological Review, 118(1), 57–75.

Ramadani, M. & Yuliani, F. (2015). Kekerasan dalam rumah tangga sebagai salah satu isu kesehatan masyarakat secara global. Jurnal Kesehatan Masyarakat Andalas, 9(2), 80-87.

Reber, A.S. & Reber, E.S. (2010). Kamus psikologi. Yogyakarta: Pustaka Pelajar.

Santrock, J.W. (2012). Remaja 11th. Jakarta: Erlangga

Seelau, S. M., & Seelau, E. P. (2005). Gender role stereotypes and perceptions of heterosexual, gay and lesbian domestic violence. Journal of Family Violence, 20, 363‐370.

Schultz, D.P. & Schultz, E.P. (2016). Teori kepribadian. Jakarta: EGC.

Sidanius, J., & Pratto, F. (2012). Social dominance theory. Dalam P. A. M. V. Lange, A. W. Kruglanski, & E. T. Higgins (Eds.), Handbook of theories of social psychology volume 2 (pp. 418-438). London: Sage Publication.

Sidanius, J., Pratto, F., Laar C. V., & Levin, S. (2004). Social dominance theory: Its agenda & methods. Political Psychology, 25(6), 845–880.

Sternberg, Robert. J. (1998). Love is story : A new theory of relationship. New York, NY : Oxford University Press.

Worthen, J. B., & Sullivan, P. V. (2005). Gender bias in attributions of responsibility for abuse. Journal of Family Violence, 20, 305‐311.

DOI: https://doi.org/10.32528/ins.v18i1.3485


  • There are currently no refbacks.

Copyright (c) 2022 Insight : Jurnal Pemikiran dan Penelitian Psikologi

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

View My Stats